Sunday, May 25, 2008

10 weeks

I forgot to update for 10 weeks! Here is baby Ian getting a bath and I am afraid this tub is in it's last days. you can see where his head hits and when he pushes his legs straight, he almost pushes himself out! He LOVES getting a bath, he is so interactive and smiley and happy in the tub. You can see all the medicine on the counter....almost $300 at the vet for our dog @@ Not happy about spending that money.
He is holding his head very well now but is still bobbing around trying to look at everything around him. The other kids love it when he smiles at them and he is doing it a lot more now. He is still very much a "hold me" baby and loves to cuddle. Of course he is a little more partial to me ;)
The girls love hearing themselves sing in the outside fan. I had to tell them to lower the volume when they were singing princess songs at 7:45 in the morning here.

M's last day of preschool was Friday and her teacher always has a pool party at her house. She asks the kids what they want to eat at the party and you can imagine what was there! Cheesy poofs, gummy bears and worms, oreos, chocolate cookies, chips, goldfish, candy, soda, and pizza! My kids were in heaven because you know I don't buy that junk for home!! But that's why she does it too, so they remember.

I am just kinda writing off this school year for her. She never once spoke to her teacher and very very rarely to any of the kids. She did learn in school, just not on any kind of social level, she just went backwards. In her mind, she loved school and has said many times that she will miss her friends a great deal so her perception of school vs. everyone elses is very different. If you are reading this and don't know, Madeline has Selective Mutism. She has severe anxiety when it comes to talking at school or to people she doesn't know. She is a brilliant child and I think has a lot more control on it than others want to believe which puts me in an awkward position as how to help her. I am hoping that a new school and new environment will be a nice fresh start for her where others don't know and she can be more at ease. This year it was too big of an issue and her teacher made too much of a deal out of it. I will talk with her teacher and hope she might be able to help us.

Anyways, holiday tomorrow and of course John is working. We are counting down the days until his 9 day vacation in June! I can't wait :) Not much going on this week, I am getting my first facial if that counts! And I am going to see some old friends on Wednesday from Le Leche whom I haven't seen in about a year. I am going to have to adjust to a new schedule now with having M home during the days but we should get into a new groove soon. J only has a week and a half left of school too.


Casey said...

I'd suggest that your 3 year old child really does not have any control over her selective mutism. Her reaction is a reflexive response to anxiety.

My 4.5 year old daughter has been diagnosed with selective mutism and sensory processing disorder, and yet she is also very bright. She reports wanting to make friends, but then being unable to do so in the school setting (she does have friends outside school but the school setting is just too intimidating). You sound like you don't believe that she doesn't have control over it. It may seem like she does (3 year olds do seem to be engaged in power struggles all the time), but really, that's a lot of effort to keep up over the course of a year.

There is a website that talks about primitive reflexes and there is one called the Fear Paralysis Reflex, which is the one implicated in Selective Mutism.

I don't want to make assumptions on your views of what selective mutism is and is not, but I really believe that my own daughter does not want to be this way. I have observed her in class and have seen a very different child than I do at home. She was very subdued and had a panic stricken look on her face for the longest time. By the end of the year, she was at least smiling a little more freely and did whisper a few times. She was very helpful and cooperative for everything but speaking and singing, but she still never spoke out loud unless I was there in the room. But me being there didn't translate into her being immediately able to talk to her classmates (as one of her classmates had hoped when he heard her voice for the first time) or teacher (the teacher had made it her goal to speak by the end of the class year, but fortunately wasn't upset when that didn't happen).

Starting now, I am incorporating a sensory diet at home to help calm her and when we start up school again, it will be with an IEP. I also plan to help her transition into the classroom. Fortunately, she will also be getting some state services to help with her communication.

You may also want to look at for information. I know you referenced another selective mutism website, but I wasn't really impressed with their layout.

At any rate, I know there's not many moms who are blogging about their selectively mute children, but I hope more do. I really like learning what has worked/not worked for other children.

I hope that the new year will help your daughter, but it seems to me that a new and unfamiliar school may not help an already anxious child. But, I could be wrong about that.

Good luck. :)

angela said...

Thanks for your insight and for the website, I will check it out. BTW, she is almost 5, not 3.

As far as school, there is no other choice but for her to start a new school. It is kindergarten at an elementary school. I have already spoken with the school about it and I will have an appt. with the psychologist at the start of the year.

Also, I don't think she has control over it as it might have seen in my post. I do believe she wants to speak to other kids and have fun with them but the anxiety is stopping her. I think she wants to be like the other speaking kids and engage with them. At the start of her preschool year we did not know she would have this and therefore did all the wrong things...bribe, coerce, threaten, etc. We did not know the extent of what she was experiencing. Now, having read up on what we can, I think there is a better understanding of it, BUT I still have a boatload to learn ;)

Thanks for all your advice/insight!