Monday, March 1, 2010

I did it. I cancelled weight watchers. I just feel like they have nothing to offer me anymore. I feel so frustrated and down on myself every week when I go to weigh in and there is no change. Nothing for almost a full year.

I kinda feel like a quitter yet I know that WW as helped me achieve a lifestyle I probably wouldn't have gotten to on my own. I LOVE to exercise! I look forward to how I will look months from now as these new muscles pop out and begin to see their definition and destination. I enjoy seeing how my body IS changing even though the number on the scale is NOT. I NEED to feel good about myself and WW is NOT letting me feel that way. Every week there I feel like a failure instead. I need to move on and focus on my mental outlook and stop looking at that scale because it is so much more than is that single digit number that I now see on my pant's tag, it is that number on my weight bar that goes higher, it is that leg muscle that hurts everyday but gets stronger and tighter, it is that high that I get after completing a hard class. THAT is what I need to focus on.

I KNOW how to eat. I am a very avid journaler and write down everything I eat! I know how certain foods make me feel, mental and physically and I know what to stay away from now and what to have in moderation. I KNOW what to do and nothing about that will change as it has been an everyday habit for the past 2 years.

I might take that $40 a month now and put it in a clothing fund for myself! Or, go see a nutritionist like I have been wanting to do.

I feel free now. And better. It is time to stop making myself feel like crap every week and move on. WW helped me lose 40 pounds but it is time to move on. Thank you WW for your help but you no longer have anything to offer. We are through.