Today is the day

AF is due today and so far she hasn't shown up but it is only 3:30 PM! I am even wondering if she might be delayed because this cycle I starting taking a B complex vitamin which is suppose to lenghten your LP and since I think mine is only 10 days, I figured my chances of ttc would be higher if my LP was longer. I keep telling myself I will give it until Monday to test but I want John to be here for it and he now has to work on Monday@@ He is off Sunday and Wednesday so maybe I'll test tomorrow? If I wait until Wed. and AF hasn't shown I will pretty much know I am pregnant!

We just got back from a double birthday party next door and all 3 kids had a blast! Lots of kids and running around and cake and new toys! Who wouldn't have fun if you were under 4 ft tall!! It was really too hot to be outside so we stayed in for the most part....there was even a bounce house but it was just waaaaaayyyy tooooooo hot! Why oh why did I eat cake and ice cream?? It always makes me feel like crap but I sit there and look at it and it starts talking to me and asking me to eat it. Then I am powerless. And now I feel like crap and talk to myself like crap. Why can't I end this cycle? Am I gonna be this way my whole life, always pissed off at myself for the junk I put into my mouth?

It seriously needs to rain too, my jasmine has all died and the grass is getting brown. Usually now it rains everyday and so far nothing. Everywhere else it doesn't stop raining but here it just won't start!

Tonight we having sushi again for the third time this week and I still love it! John has perfected it now and it so waaaaayyyyy cheaper now for him to make it at home instead of us going out to eat it and spending $100 for one meal! I wish the kids would eat it too. A and M both tasted it but both put it back! Of course J will not even touch it!

overwhelmed

I am still feeling pretty blah today. I am feeling so stressed everyday for really no reason. The kids are aggravating each other all day long and I 'm not sure if I am handling it well. I think they are just sick of each other now since they haven't been in school. J hasn't been playing with all his boy friends from school and he is running around all day with all this energy. M just wants some alone time and hasn't been getting it. A is just being A as usual.

John has to work 6 days this week which sucks but at least he will be off on the 4th. J is really looking forward to the parade and fireworks and I made him a calender to do a countdown on where he is Xing the days off until the 4th.

I know what I need....a vacation! We are planning a cruise for Sept but still haven't paid for it so I'm not sure if it will really happen. I want A to be weaned by then so I don't feel mommy guilt too bad for being gone 3 days. We are also talking about going to orlando just the 2 of us for a couple of nights and go to universal and city walk. I think we need a reconnection right now....maybe I should just going ahead and reserve that for our anniversary next month? yeah, I will look into that today....it will give me something to look forward to....there can't you see that blah attitude creeping in again?

moody

I am in such a funk today and I am afraid it is pms :(

I had a dream last night that I took a preg. test early and it came back positive so of course when I woke up this morning I just had to take one! Of course it was negative, I am only like 7 dpo and then I was just sad all morning about it. Now I will not test until Monday if af doesn't show.

There were 3 BFPs on the ttc board today! How exciting for all those soon to be mamas!

John, Johnny and Papa went fishing this morning and John got the boat stuck in the sand at the boat ramp! And they didn't catch any fish! Johnny still seemed to have had fun, I think he just likes being with the boys and being on the boat. We had lunch at John's store then went to the mall and got a couple of things since I am stockpiling already for the kids' school clothes. I am finding great clearance prices so I can't pass them up....at old navy when I was checking out they had a basket of girl's shirts at the register for $.97!! Only 2 were in the sizes I needed but how awesome is that! And they are cute.

I have already bought 3 newborn dipes....am I jinxing myself by doing that? The prices I am buying them at are unbelievable so I can't pass them up but what if it is a bad omen?? I still have some left over from Ava so if nothing else I can sell a great starter set.

SO my temps are on the rise which is a great sign as long as they don't dip. We bd 2 days around my ovulation so hopefully it worked. I didn't record my temps on those 2 days so fertility friend won't pick up on the ovulation days. I am CD 18 and my cycles are pretty consistent at 25 days except last month was 24. I am a little concerned that my LP might be too short so I started taking a b complex which is supposed to lenghthen it. I have never got so involved with charting before now, it is kinda cool. When ttc #2 it took about 4 months and #3 took just one month so I don't forsee a problem, just wanna know

back again

so the last blog I had set was 3 years ago back when I was trying to get pregnant with baby #3....I figured since I am now trying to get preggo again with #4, might as well go at it again, especially since I have zero extra time right now to devote to this.

so, here it goes. A. is now 19 months old and for about 3 months now, I have been ttc. I am so ready for another baby and another pregnancy and another birth, I am beyond excited that I might get to embark on this journey for another time. I have even gone as far as charting my temps and cf everyday so I can see it all take place. Pretty darn sure that 4 kids is enough so I need to savor this from beginning to end :) We hit it dead on this month and since we have not had problems before with ttc, I am praying that this month it worked. I'll let you know in about a week!