Saturday, July 26, 2008
Saying that, we are leaving this afternoon to go to the beach for 4 days! We always go on vacation this week in July because it is our anniversary (7 years!!) and John's dad's birthday. We always have a family vacation with them and sometimes John's brother's family will come too. It is only an hour away at Indian Shores but the beaches are private and beautiful and we love it there! So expect a lot of pictures this week :)
7 years. wow. Don't they say there is a 7 year itch? What exactly does that mean? After 7 years you are tired of your spouse and explore other options? Why 7 years? I see it happen to folks married for one year....or 30. I don't like the saying and there is no way in hell that is happening in our house. John is perfect for me, he may not always understand me but who will ever understand women, we don't even understand ourselves! He never picks fights and squelches me when I try. He is kind and selfless and strong and amazingly ambitious. His children look up to him and worship him. He is a pretty good guy all around! I couldn't imagine anyone who would be more perfect for me :))
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Today when me and the whittles were driving home from Sam's, I took a shortcut to bypass traffic. That led us by the hospital where I was stopped at a red light and looked over at the entrance to the woman's center where I went in that night. I was instantly taken back to that night when I went through those revolving doors and had to kiss Johnny good bye and tell him next time we met again, he would have his brother. Sounds sweet enough right? No, it is very heart breaking on both of our parts. You see, Johnny was looking forward to the homebirth almost as much as I was. He had tears in his eyes and was very sad that he was not allowed to be a part of it anymore. It was ripped away from him in the same way it was ripped away from me.
He was there when Ava was born and never left my side throughout her 17 hour labor. He was there when I looked down in that birthing tub and saw we had another girl! He was the one to cut the cord after she was born. He is so proud of that and I hope it is a memory that he will always have, especially since he was only 4 at the time. He was so happy to be having a brother and to be able to do it all again. He was at almost all of my prenatal appts. sitting on our couch watching Anne do all her things to his mama carrying his brother.
My emotions over the loss of my birth are still so raw and I am not sure when I can open up and write Ian's story. You see, it is still special to me, I just need to finish mourning the hopes that I had and the struggles I went through. When I was about 28 weeks pregnant with him, we learned he was breached and he stayed that way for almost the rest of the pregnancy and I was so angry about it. I just was so focused on getting him turned and keeping him that way, that I couldn't enjoy the pregnancy as I had hoped since it was to be my last. I really enjoy being pregnant and this time I did not because of the stress. I wanted the homebirth again so bad that anything to threaten that, made me uneasy. I was so worried about cord issues and fluid levels and where his feet and hiccups were supposed to be that I just couldn't relax.
In the end, he did flip and was in great position and labor was smooth but things happen that we can not control. And I think back on it all the time and replay it and I am pretty sure that no matter what other things could have happened, we were suppose to be in that hospital for him to be born. Everything fell into place the way it should have and I still see connections of events that show me why we were in the hospital.
But it still hurts. When I had to come home and see my deflated liner for the birth pool laying on our back porch, it hurt. And when I looked at all my birth supplies in the box waiting to be used, it hurt. And when I had to tell all the naysayers who never believed in homebirth that I had to go to the hospital, it hurt. And when I had to go back to the hospital 5 days after his birth to have them draw blood from 2 spots on my arm and then from my wrist and put it into my spinal column to hopefully cure the fluid leaking out and causing a spinal headache, oh yeah, that really hurt.
Well, that's enough self pity for one night. I've got some paypal burning a hole in my pocket so I am off to find some bigger cloth dipes for my 20 pound 4 month old!
I promise, one day soon, I'll write it.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
I did have permission to post this picture....we call it peas on the deez. John had his Big V done on Wednesday and he is still pretty swollen and black and blue down under but he is feeling better. He did have a couple of weird days on the Vicoden but is off those nasty things now!
Yes, we went back to Disney Ft. Wilderness again. Man, I love Disney too much, I could be a bit obsessed, I would go every weekend if we could. Madeline actually let me take her picture this time at the Campfire singalong! Ava calls them "Chicken Dale" and I let her because it's too cute and soon enough she'll say it right and it won't be cute anymore :( I ate too many smores :( Not looking forward to my weigh in Monday morning!
Me and the kids (John was in bed with peas on his deez our whole trip, yes it was planned that way, I figured I could entertain the kids better there than I could at home if I was going to be a single parent for 3 days) we went for a bus ride to see the petting farm and the horses they rent out for rides. We got stuck out in a massive thunder/rain storm so we found a nice place under cover and I taught them how to play checkers. Madeline didn't really care so I gave her my camera to take pictures of Ava and J and I played instead. It was pretty cool.
Rain, rain go away
Waking up in the RV on the pull out sofa
Naked heiny butt....he peed on my bed while I was taking this picture
He was smiling at Ava
"I'm a G money"
Another first in the same day as the bath. I stuffed a blanket in front so he wouldn't be so floppy but he was strong enough to push himself backwards. He loves being upright with the kids now. Ava loves to push him across the floor too!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Ava with her best friend Noah from next door. He's almost 2 years older than her but they don't care! They play together almost everyday.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Tall, medium, peanut ;)
We ended our day with a cookout at the neighbors and gave the kids a good fireworks show (although I think the men enjoyed it even more ;P~)
Just like his daddy....loves to look at himself in the mirror!
What do you think...has he outgrown his bath seat?? I have a seat he could sit in for the actual bathtub but I love being able to be this close to him for baths. It is also really good bonding time for daddy. Plus he still loves it :)
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Ahh, he wanted that football so bad he could taste it. Or actually wanted to taste it but couldn't figure out how to use his hands to pick up something that big. Johnny gave him the football so they could start practicing. My heart melts. Did I tell you yet he was grateful to me for that brother? Just kidding, it IS getting annoying.
Yes, that is my 6 year old giving my 2 year old a tramp stamp on her back. And I can call it that because I have one too. No, I wasn't a tramp (IMO) but I did tend to follow the crowd and it was cool,
He is very attached to his tattoo gun. He sells his art. $0.50 for me and daddy, free if you are under 7. I currently have a lizard on my arm and an anchor on my wrist. Yeah, I'm still cool.