11 weeks

Wow! Am I blessed or what?!! Just look at these 4 amazing God given gifts that I can call my own! How lucky am I that they call me mom! Each one with their own amazing traits and personalities. Each one pure perfection.

I took a similar picture when Ava was about 3 months old and it is precious to me. Maybe I will scan it when I don't have a sleeping baby in my arms!

Here is my little man being silly today...he is such a smiler now and it just makes my heart burst when I see it. He was almost laughing!

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Then Ava wanted to hold him and he kinda looks like he is asking "what's going on??" When he is observing his environment and looking around, his mouth is always open and his head is leaning forward...he is def. a thinker

And then he was happy and smiling again!

I have been blog surfing lately and have come across several that are heartwrenching and others that are joyful. In all of them is raw emotion of pain and/or joy, openess for all to see, beautiful words that come straight out of their soul. My blog seems so wordless compared to others. As usual, I compare myself and feel like I am not really opening up to the blog reading world, like I am just baseline...a little update, some pictures, and bam, I call it a week. Blah.

As it goes in my everyday world. A few words, a bit of conversation, and bam, I call it a day. My everyday emotions that the world sees are so baseline, so, blah. Always has been that way with the exception of one friend who I think really knew me as me. And then of course my husband whom I would like to think knows me well ;)

What is wrong that I can't open up, can't let the real me out? I am not an uptight person so why do I come across as such? Why can't I speak my mind, ask for help, be easy going?

I will reflect on this for a few days and let you know.

10 weeks

I forgot to update for 10 weeks! Here is baby Ian getting a bath and I am afraid this tub is in it's last days. you can see where his head hits and when he pushes his legs straight, he almost pushes himself out! He LOVES getting a bath, he is so interactive and smiley and happy in the tub. You can see all the medicine on the counter....almost $300 at the vet for our dog @@ Not happy about spending that money.
He is holding his head very well now but is still bobbing around trying to look at everything around him. The other kids love it when he smiles at them and he is doing it a lot more now. He is still very much a "hold me" baby and loves to cuddle. Of course he is a little more partial to me ;)
The girls love hearing themselves sing in the outside fan. I had to tell them to lower the volume when they were singing princess songs at 7:45 in the morning here.

M's last day of preschool was Friday and her teacher always has a pool party at her house. She asks the kids what they want to eat at the party and you can imagine what was there! Cheesy poofs, gummy bears and worms, oreos, chocolate cookies, chips, goldfish, candy, soda, and pizza! My kids were in heaven because you know I don't buy that junk for home!! But that's why she does it too, so they remember.

I am just kinda writing off this school year for her. She never once spoke to her teacher and very very rarely to any of the kids. She did learn in school, just not on any kind of social level, she just went backwards. In her mind, she loved school and has said many times that she will miss her friends a great deal so her perception of school vs. everyone elses is very different. If you are reading this and don't know, Madeline has Selective Mutism. She has severe anxiety when it comes to talking at school or to people she doesn't know. She is a brilliant child and I think has a lot more control on it than others want to believe which puts me in an awkward position as how to help her. I am hoping that a new school and new environment will be a nice fresh start for her where others don't know and she can be more at ease. This year it was too big of an issue and her teacher made too much of a deal out of it. I will talk with her teacher and hope she might be able to help us.

Anyways, holiday tomorrow and of course John is working. We are counting down the days until his 9 day vacation in June! I can't wait :) Not much going on this week, I am getting my first facial if that counts! And I am going to see some old friends on Wednesday from Le Leche whom I haven't seen in about a year. I am going to have to adjust to a new schedule now with having M home during the days but we should get into a new groove soon. J only has a week and a half left of school too.

Blueberries!!!

We ended up going to the Blueberry festival even though the day started out raining. It had stopped by the time we got there and actually rained again after we left. It was super hot and humid while we were there! Before we left all the kids got their faces painted and then they went to spend the night with my parents...luckily, my mom had to do the washing off! John and I want to go back another time to do the wine tasting...there were way too many people to do it this day, we couldn't even see the bar, it was just so packed. The kids also played some games, jumped in the bounce houses, ate some yummy food and of course, blueberries!

Madeline :)

Johnny

Ava

All out picking blueberries...the fields were pretty picked over already but the kids still had a great time picking the ones they did. They actually went out to a different farm on Sunday and got a bunch more....yummy!

M showing us how big they were

Ava with her bucket tied around her waist!

My Papa and Ian. We had to leave the fields and go under the shade, it was just too hot out in the sun with him in the sling. Here has has his "Go Green" shirt on!

9 weeks

This shirt was one of the first that we got for Johnny as a hand me down. It says D is for Dog and there is a story behind it and why we will always keep it. A couple of weeks before Johnny was born John was admitted into the hospital for stomach bleeding. He had to have all kinds of tests and liquid put into his system and was given a medicine that drugged him but didn't knock him out. He was awake but not really there mentally. He kept saying "D is for dog" over and over again! When he was aware again, he had no clue he was saying it or even anything that had gone on. It has sentimental value to it ;P Anyways, here Ian is now wearing it asleep and you can see his "man" hair. You can see how dark it actually is in the back....

compared to how light it is in the front! I think he is gonna be a blondie because his eyebrows and eyelashes are both really light that you can barely even see them. Plus he has his daddy's (and siblings') blue eyes.

He is always so serious! The only time I can get him to smile is if he is laying on the floor/bed next to me. If I am holding him, he won't even make eye contact!

He had his 2 month well baby check up yesterday and now weighs in at 15 lbs 6 oz and 24 inches long! He is definitely growing very nicely.

This weekend the 3 oldest are going to my parents for the night on Saturday and John, Ian, and I are going on a date! John got tickets for us at Christmas time to see "Larry the Cable Guy" and then we are having dinner at Maggiano's Little Italy Italian-American Dining afterwards. This place is wonderful we just never get a chance to go sans kids. I am really looking forward to time out with just John (and Ian but he doesn't talk so we can actually carry on a conversation together!) Saturday day I think we are all going to go to a winery near us Blueberry Wine - Florida Wine- Keel and Curley Winery. They are having a family day and John and I have been wanting to go there I just didn't want to while I was pregnant (and not able to drink the wine!) Anyways. blueberries rank as my kids favorite food and it is blueberry season here so they should love this.

Weight Watchers is going good...I am now down 8 lbs and am steadily losing. As a nursing mom I am only allowed to lose 1-2 lbs a week which makes for some s-l-o-w weight loss but slower is better as far as keeping the weight off. I can't wait to be skinny again! Every morning I am excited to wake up and know that I am ounces lighter than the day before and I will never be this weight again! I can't wait to go bathing suit shopping again too but it is not that easy to find a good one to hold up my milk makers, they are just huge right now! I am hoping to be able to find a nice one and look good enough in it by the end of July when we always go on vacation for our anniversary (usually the beach or Orlando). Really looking forward to it all!

I signed J and M up for swimming lesson and A is going to take gymnastics over the summer. I am still trying to fill up every week during summer so we all won't go crazy sitting around the house. We will have enough downtime as it is, I just want them to have somethings to look forward to doing instead of sitting around the house.

9 weeks

Man, these weeks are flying by! I swear it always seems like I just updated pictures!

ok now I keep getting errors when I try to put in my pictures @@ Not the first time this has happened. I guess I will have to try again in the morning because I am headed to bed now. Sorry.

Mother's Day

What a beautiful day and what a wonderful thing to be able to celebrate! I am so blessed to not only have 4 children, but 4 healthy, breathing, living, growing children. I am so humbled by what surrounds me and daily, I mean daily and several times a day remember and thank God for what He has given me. I am so undeserving yet so grateful that He chose ME to have these children, chose me to feel them, watch them, smell them, hold them, and have them love ME. I read about the plight of other moms who have lost children or babies or babies still forming and it breaks my heart. We have lost one baby but we never knew him, never felt him move, never got to see him develop. It was too early and he was gone. BUT that baby that was not to be had a purpose...he brought me and John together and closer than we would have grown on our own. That baby made us want another and thus Johnny was conceived in the very next month...and I could not image existence without my Johnny. The boy who changed my life forever,the boy who gave me the coveted title of "mother", the boy who got the love of my life to marry me and love me more than ever before possible. The boy that made me and John both want to be better people, the boy who made me never see the world through the same eyes again. I am honored to be able to celebrate ths day and I raise my glass to all other mothers and mothers to be and mothers who were. What a special day just for you.

more pics from last week

In the Mickey ears in front of the pool at the Contempory hotel

There was hardley anyone there (or they were all the parks for the day!) The girls had the best time digging in the sand.

This is pretty much how Ian spent the whole time at the pool. I did get to go into the pool for a bit and play ball with the kids while Ian slept and John sat with him in the shade.

John getting ready to jump in with them. the pool temp was perfect and it was a beautiful day

8 weeks

This picture was taken when Ian was 3 weeks old and my Granny came down to meet him. She was also here for the kids' baptisms. She is very special to me and I enjoyed our visit together.

8 weeks old today!!

Madeline's preschool class had a tea party yesterday to honor mothers. I was so nice to spend that time with her and she was so proud :)

Johnny and Ava were giving each other tattoos....oh my

7 weeks

14 lbs 9 oz on Monday. Man, do I love those rolls and his chub....I could just smell him all day long and squeeze him, he is just sweet! He also has on a FCB that I did in a trade and this diaper is pretty awesome! He had a check up for his RSV and she said we could wean off the nebulizer but don't be surprised if it comes back, most of the time, babies who have had RSV are usually the first to get sick again and it go straight to their lungs. Great. At least school is almost over and J and M will stop bringing home all the nasty germs. But then of course there is always Sunday school and the parks :/

This picture is of Johnny at about the same age, maybe a bit older. Ian's hair is a lot lighter but the eyes, nose, and mouth are one in the same. I LOVE my blued eyed babies. He looks like such a blondie here but the hair in the back (his old man hair look) is all dark brown. His eyebrows and eyelashes are very light so he will most likely be blond like Ava now.

My 3 boys in bed. I guess Ian should have had his shirt off too but he does not like to be naked! He shivers and it's not even cold. Plus he is super ticklish!

Another quick smile caught!

There is no school tomorrow so if the weather is good we are going to drive over to Disney and spend the day at the resorts, either Contempory or Polynesian. The kids want to go swimming and play on the beaches and have a relaxing day so we won't go anywhere else but there, just a quick little getaway trip. This next week is going to be pretty busy for the kid's at school and me too going there but school only has a month left. I have been trying to fill our summer calender and so far have 2 trips to Disney and Seaworld planned (4 days each), a week of Vacation Bible School, a few days down at the beach, and 2 weeks of swim lessons for J and M, and M starts ballet at the dance school in July. There are still a couple of other things I want to look into but we'll see. I also just want to sleep in and spend days doing nothing but to stay busy keeps the kids much happier.

I started Weight Watchers last Monday and at my weigh in this Monday I had lost 4 lbs, go me!! I am so motivated to do this because I want to be HOT<> by the end of July for our trip to the beach and our anniversary. I always do well on WW and also knowing that there are no more babies, I can finally lose all the baby weight that has been hanging out. What a great feeling. I keep waiting for the sadness of saying that to set in but the feeling of complete is so there that I am not sad to say no more babies. I am truly done, physically and mentally. I get excited for other people to go through their pregnancies and babies but I have so much to be thankful for and my heart is so full, how could I possibly want/need more. I am so happy with my life in this moment, that I wouldn't change a thing.