38 weeks

I am having a very weird mental week. Lots of weird things going on in my head and I'm not sure even how to word most of it. Like, I know I am pregnant and having a baby in a couple of weeks but the other day I was mopping the kitchen and it dawned on me, hey, you are about to have a baby. And it was like a revelation hit me that was stunning, but at the same time I am thinking, no shit, of course I am having a baby! And I am sleeping sooooo well, too well, I wake up refreshed and I am so cozy and comfy and I think it is like a cruel joke that all that comfort and good sleep is about to end for about a year of being woken up constantly to be sucked on and kicked in the back. Of course I welcome that at the same time which is why I always feel confused. Are you confused yet?? I am very moody and flippy and the swings are incredible. I miss John when he isn't home but am aggravated when he's here being messy or playing on the computer or not helping with something. I am feeling an overwhelming amount of love for him too, like I am going to burst with it. That was how I felt when I was in labor last time so I see it as a sign of things to come soon.

I tried to check myself today out of curiosity especially because Anne says she doesn't do checks until labor. I think I am at 3cm, I am just not experienced on the cervical feel but I did manage 3 fingers and it was very squishy and seemed lower than normal. It was also very mucousy.

My appt. this week went fine. She can never seem to get a good feel of where baby boy is but I was telling her where he kicks and where his butt sticks out and where I feel his hiccups but it's almost like she doesn't believe me. She can never match up his heartbeat with what I am telling her, kinda aggrevates me because then I doubt what I am feeling all the time and get confused on his bodily movements. Luckily this time she was grabbing ahold of his head with one hand and feeling around with her other hand and he kicked her, So then she believed me! I had to go buy another birth ball this week because his head is not engaged and kinda to the side. I have been doing hula hoop swirls on it and bouncing a little. I also need to call the chiro on Monday and go ahead and schedule a couple of appts over the next 2 weeks to get his head down. I am just thinking my hips are rotated in and it's not allowing him space to wiggle down.

The time has come when everyone starts looking at you and expecting you to explode at any given moment. I hate that. I KNOW I am not going early and I wish people would just give me the next 2 weeks of peace and then start the staring and asking questions.

Well, I guess that is it for now. Thank goodness the cold bug has left the building and I hate to say it but we all seemed to be well today for the first time in almost 2 months. That must also be a good sign of things to come soon :)