Instead I am being wheeled into another dull room into another uncomfortable bed where pretty soon they will take my baby away from me, try to poke him everywhere, or stick something in his mouth not meant to be there or tell me his blood sugar is too low because he is too big or they need to bathe him or put him into the warmer. And you know what, they did bathe him, I didn't get to inhale his sweet-fresh-from-my-body smell that I love, the once in a lifetime smell you never get a chance to get again. Yes, this all still hurts 2 years later. I love my little boy more than life itself but something so special was stolen from me that I can never have back again. That perfect birth that I prepared so hard for and pray so hard for was snatched from me, and it is not just about "you should be happy he is here" because it is SO much more.
Thanks for reading, I just had to get that all out.