Whew! I never want to live through tomorrow ever again. It was the most stressful emotional day that I have had in a long time.

First off, baby is fine, kicking, heart beating perfectly growing little peanut. MIL was gonna watch A. for me and go get M. from preschool. A. ran a fever all through the night and even at 11 in the morning, she still hadn't gotten out of bed. SO I go to Tower early to fill out paperwork and start drinking a full bottle of water so my bladder would be full. They keep calling up saying that the referral I had from the MW wasn't adequate enough, they needed a script with a Dr. signature @@ Anyways, this put me waiting an extra 30 minutes WITH a full bladder while they figured it out. The woman was very sweet about it and did everything she could and I even made a point to thank her on my way out after the sono. This whole time I was so emotional and crying in the waiting room by myself trying to hold it together....I so desperately needed to see the baby and with the possibility they weren't gonna let me, I just lost it. I needed John so badly but he had to work :(

I tell the tech I definitely had a full bladder and she said I really didn't need to at 12 weeks....she took a quick look and told me to go to the bathroom. I still had no idea if the baby was okay, her face told me nothing and I was terrified to ask, I just wanted to see but I was behind the screen. So I get back on the table and for a full 5 minutes she tells me nothing. I am back to crying when finally she says she was trying to get a solid heartbeat reading but the baby wouldn't stop moving around enough to get it long enough! I just laughed I was so relieved to her that! She then turns the screen and that little guy was all over the place, kicking, stretching, flipping and with a perfectly beating heart and tiny toes and a perfect spine and a stomach! It was by far one of the most beautiful images to my eyes! We watched for awhile, she takes pictures and measures the heart rate and all is perfect. She printed out 2 pictures for me and I can't stop staring at them.

Well, M. had her yearly at 2:30 and I made A. an appt at the same time to get looked at. Turns out both girls have a double ear infection and A. has strep throat just like her brother. How the heck do all 3 of my kids have ear infections?? Anyways, now all 3 are on antibiotics at the same time, that's a first. I don't think A. has ever even been on antibiotics. Of course this comes on right when she just weaned @@ Plus walmart had me wait forever for them and then tried to charge me full price...they didn't have my insurance info, which I wrongly assumed they did. Gave it to them and the price was $100 less, big difference.

Before this I get a call from J.'s school saying he had an accident and peed his pants during nap time. She said he was crying and really upset but they got him new clothes and were still going to send him home on the bus. Poor thing was so embarrassed.

We ordered pizza take out last night from a place that was doing a spirit night so I didn't have to cook, good thing but I still went to bed with a headache and woke up with it again.

John got a new job offer today that he is going to take. Changing jobs is so stressful but it is a good move for him. Same pay but potential is a lot higher than where he is now.

Me and the girls just went outside to feed the sandhill cranes some bread....it was the mommy, daddy, and baby which made M just so happy that the whole family was together!

Well, thunderstorm is coming in quickly so I need off the computer. Today is definately a good day.

12 weeks today and the MW came to my house for my prenatal check. Everything is good except she couldn't find the heartbeat. I almost expected it. When I was pregnant with A, it took the MW a long time to locate it even all the way up into my 20-something weeks. Plus, when she did my initial exa, 3 weeks ago she said my uterus is tilted back which could prevent hearing it. BUT I still was excited to hear it today...now I am just worried and putting worst case scenarios in my head. I have a bad habit of doing that with what ifs.

She asked my if I wanted to wait until later or get an ultrasound to see the baby. Well, what would you want to do?? Of course I want to see a heart beating and feeting kicking and arms flailing so she found a place that does them around here and I am going in the morning. Luckily John's mom said she would keep A and pick up M from school and John is going to go in late to work to go with me, thank goodness.

J has an ear infection and strep throat. He started a fever on Sat. night at Bonnie's bday party, ran a fever all day Sunday during M's bday party so we took him monday to the dr. I am hoping and praying the girls stay healthy and so far so good after 5 days. He is on antibiotics now, ugh, and we both hate that!

John is job searching again which always makes me so nervous. He has it so good now but is unhappy so I can't blame him but he has so much to lose with him writing his own schedule, good benefits, good hours, etc but he is the one who has to do it everyday so of course I want him happy.

I'll let you know how my sono goes....

10 weeks now and my icky feeling is easing up a bit. We finally told our parents and mine were thrilled, John's were stunned and it took them a couple of days to say anything nice about it which we expected, it just sucks knowing that's their first reaction. Oh well, its done, time to move on.

J starts kindergarden in 2 days!!!! where is my baby?!! We met his teacher the other day and she seems great and his room is huge. He sat and played for a bit and tried to get comfortable with his surroundings. John took him on his first day of preschool and then came home and cried, only one of the few times I have ever seen him cry....now he wants to take him to K and I think the same might happen.

M starts on Wednesday and she will have the same preschool teacher J had last year. She is excited and I think she will do a lot better this year then last. Her birthday is next week and we are having a puppy party next Sunday for all our family and a few of her friends. We are renting a moon walk water slide since it is still so insanely hot. She went today to pick out her cake and grandma is buying some decorations are we speak!

Well, we are having a busy week with school, a couple of doctor appt, we are gonna try to sell John's truck and get him something different, read cheaper with better epg. I have to prepare for M's party, Grandma's surprise party on Saturday, my Granny coming into town, clean the house for all of the above, ugh I am exhausted all ready. So, it might be until next week that I update.

YUCK is all I can say. I feel like crap from the minute I wake up to the second I go to bed and even when I wake up to pee in the night. I haven't thrown up yet, just feel constantly like crap. This sucks. Does it sound like I am complaining? Well I am. I think God is making sure that I feel for certain that this is the last time I am pregnant. Well, I can honestly say I never want to feel like this again in my life. I need to write this all down so that I don't forget one day and think that I miss this. I know once I get past this stage I will feel great but right now it sucks big time.

Our house was struck by lightening and shot our modem so online time has been nil for the past couple of weeks. I have been using in laws computer which is so slow.

We went to the beach this past weekend for our anniversary. My parents came over for a night and in laws plus David, Sarah, and Lauren stayed for 2 nights. We got Juan's condo for free and my parents stayed in Mark's for free. It sure is nice to know people! The weather was perfect just insanely hot but the kids had a blast in the pool and at the beach. Indian Rocks Beach is perfect because it is all private condos so it is not crowded at all. We went out to dinner for our anniversary and it was a blast. We had bananas foster for dessert and the kids were super impressed with the flames!

Still haven't told the parents about the pregnancy. My mom had female surgery this past week so it just hasn"t been a good time but I think John is just scared to tell his. I can do it anytime I am just waiting on him.

We went out and met Anne and decided to use her for our homebirth. She has no problem driving here and even picked up another client in our town so most of my prenatals were be at home. You cannot beat that at all! It looks like my insurance is being a pain in the butt about paying....it should be at 80% plus a $500 deductible but they wanna shoot for 60% and a $1000 deduct. @@@@@@@ At least I should be happy they will cover any of it, I know some won't even touch HBs....gotta love Florida again!

I finally got my adjustment today that has been delayed a month! I switched chiros because my massage girl left the old one so I followed. It was the BEST adjustment I have ever had! he cracked me in places I didn't know cracked! I feel so much better and no headaches today! I can't wait to get another massage, it has been almost 4 months since my last, ugh.